Frieda, Gordon, Randy, and Voluptua were consuming brandy and mince pies, the final stage of a large and alcoholic Christmas lunch. All but Gordon were looking forward to an afternoon snooze but he was waxing lyrical about bridge avoidance plays. Realising there was no way to shut him up Randy tried a little joke: “Play second hand high, as you always say, Gordon” he mumbled.
“No, Randy” replied Gordon, “you’ve got it wrong; second hand should play low”.
“High” countered Randy but Gordon wouldn’t rise to the bait. Instead he insisted on showing them this example of an avoidance play in which he had starred as South.
| ♠AKT92 ♥T32 ♦K76 ♣97 | ||
| ♠Q63 ♥KQ4 ♦32 ♣T8654 | ♠J87 ♥J86 ♦AJT98 ♣32 | |
| ♠54 ♥A975 ♦Q54 ♣AKQJ |
The contract had been 3NT and West had led ♦3 (the lunatic sitting East had overcalled in diamonds). Gordon preened himself. “I played low in dummy, East played the ♦8 and I won my queen. Now all I had to do was make a skilful avoidance play: I played a spade and put in the ten from dummy. East took his ♠J but I had protected dummy’s ♦K and now had 4 spade tricks, 4 clubs, the ♥A and my initial diamond trick. I made an overtrick for a top board.”
Randy had not been paying much attention and continued his rather silly jest: “Second hand high, Gordon, as you always say”. Gordon was exasperated but Frieda had noticed something rather interesting.
“Gordon, what if West plays ♠Q at trick 2 – second hand high, as Randy says”.
Gordon was silent, an awful realisation dawning. If the ♠Q is allowed to hold, the diamond continuation is devastating. On the other hand, if the ♠A or ♠K is played, the spade suit cannot be established. In either case, Gordon would be held to 8 tricks.
The final comment was left to Voluptua. Pulling down a rather dishevelled and disgracefully short skirt she murmured to Randy: “Second hand high, second hand low, restrain yourself and wait until later”.
Bridge Romances 
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