Frieda and Gordon were to be married. Gordon had proposed after proudly presenting Frieda with his large cucumber which he had planted lovingly in Frieda’s front garden some months before. Voluptua was to be the bridesmaid though the term brideswoman would have been more apt. Randy’s official role was to organise Gordon’s stag night but Gordon had insisted that a quiet game of bridge was all he wanted. So it was that Randy and Gordon were to be found at the local bridge club. They were doing quite well but it seemed that they needed a good final board. Gordon was West and the auction was very simple:
| West | North | East | South |
| 1♠ | |||
| Dbl | 2♠ | Pass | 4♠ |
| Pass | Pass | Pass |
Gordon was on lead and led ♣A. This is what he saw:
| ♠K92 ♥652 ♦A98 ♣QJ54 | ||
♠83 ♥AQ43 ♦6542 ♣AK3 | ||
The ♣A held the trick and, fearing club discards, Gordon then led ♦2. Declarer took this in dummy, ruffed a diamond and then drew two rounds of trumps with ♠A and ♠Q, Randy playing ♠J on the second round. Next declarer played a small club which Gordon took with his ♣K, Randy following suit. The turning point of the hand had been reached. What should Gordon do now? As it happened, Gordon managed to find the right defence but he had been helped by a declarer error. Before reading on you might like to find it.
By ruffing a diamond declarer had revealed that he had exactly 6 cards in hearts and clubs and therefore that he had no way of discarding all but two hearts. So it was safe for Gordon to continue diamonds (or clubs) and wait for two heart tricks at the end. Without that information Gordon may have thought is was time to cash out.
Most declarers had not given the defence the chance to go wrong so this proved to be a good board for Gordon and Randy. On learning that they had topped the field they ordered a bottle of wine in celebration.
After finishing the bottle they were in no fit state to drive and had to order a taxi. They collapsed in the back seat and mumbled explanations and directions to the driver (“bridge, fun, stag night”). The driver could scarcely understand their slurred speech but picked up “stag night” and “fun” so exercised his initiative. A few minutes later he deposited them outside a house of ill-repute and sped off. There were no telephones in sight and no light visible except in that single establishment. So the night ended with Gordon phoning Frieda with the words: “Drunk, and in a brothel on Bridge street; can you come and fetch us?”
Roused from slumber Frieda gamely found her way to the hapless men-folk. She couldn’t help herself smiling at their plight. So, while she might reasonably have lectured them on their thoughtless behaviour, she decided that it would be a story to bring up when she needed a gentle way of puncturing any pomposity on her future husband’s part.
On the morning of the wedding day the sun shone bright and clear and the ceremony went swimmingly well. No-one had forgotten their lines (despite Gordon’s nightmare of the previous week where he had dreamt he had fluffed a line as “My awful headed wife”). Rather than a traditional dinner and dance reception the bridal couple had decided to have a night of bridge, wine and nibbles. (Somewhat unbelievably, all their friends and relations were keen bridge players). No-one was taking the bridge very seriously and so, when Frieda (West) picked up this monster hand:
♠AQ32 ♥AQ9 ♦— ♣AKQJT9
she decided that everyone was too far into their cups to have patience with a long scientific auction: she simply opened the bidding with 6♣ and awaited Gordon’s dummy with a thrill of anticipation. North led ♦K and this is what she saw.
| ♠AQ75 ♥AQ9 ♦— ♣AKQJT9 | ♠JT ♥JT876 ♦A72 ♣542 | |
At trick one Frieda faced a knotty problem. Should she discard a heart or a spade on the Ace of diamonds? Which major suit should she finesse in? Would her new husband forgive her for going down? Had she packed suitable nightwear for the honeymoon?
Frieda’s mind cleared. She played low in dummy and ruffed the opening lead. Then she drew trumps. Her next move was to play the ♥Q from her hand. It does not help the defence to take this trick since Frieda can win the return, play ♥A, enter dummy with ♥J, and discard her losing spades on the winning hearts and ♦A. The alert defence spotted this, of course, and let the ♥Q hold.
But now Frieda simply played a low spade from her hand. The defence can take this or duck it (in the latter case, Frieda has reached dummy, in the former case Frieda can later enter dummy with a spade play). In both cases the losing heart can be discarded on ♦A and one spade only is lost.
It was a wonderful start to married life and, as news of Frieda’s prowess spread around the room, a cloud of confetti was showered over the card table from happy well-wishers. Gordon regaled bridge players and non-bridge players throughout the honeymoon with the story of how Frieda came into his hand after sacrificing her Queen of Hearts. This raised a few eyebrows among non-bridge players but Frieda and Gordon were blissful in their ignorance.
Bridge Romances 
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