Frieda and Gordon’s honeymoon was being spent on a bridge cruise. The weather was perfect and the ship’s food delicious. The only fly in an otherwise perfect ointment was the presence of an American couple. They were Trump supporters who, on learning that Gordon’s sister was a notable reporter in Yemen and very critical of the US policy there, had made it their business to be as unpleasant as possible to the honeymoon couple.
On the whole Gordon and Frieda managed to retain their cool in the face of a barrage of insults, which irritated Mr Delano Sr III and his wife all the more. Halfway through the cruise they met over the bridge table with Gordon, South, declarer in 4♠.
| ♠A8432 ♥K63 ♦K4 ♣A84 | ||
| ♠T ♥T5 ♦QJT987652 ♣J | ♠97 ♥QJ984 ♦— ♣KQT952 | |
| ♠KQJ65 ♥A72 ♦A3 ♣763 |
Mr Delano Sr III had preempted 4♦ and his wife had managed to convey by a series of sighs that he was definitely not to sacrifice in 5♦ since she was void. Gordon was looking forward to making an apparently easy contract when the ♦Q was led. He covered with the ♦K and Mrs Delano ruffed muttering something about pinko Commie liberals.
There now appeared to be 4 inevitable losers and, even worse, the consequent Delano bragging. Gordon saw one chance. He followed to the first trick with the ♦A! This elicited a scornful rejoinder from Mr Delano about Gordon’s inattention. But the last laugh was Gordon’s. He won the trump return, drew trumps, and played his two top hearts and the ♣A. Then he threw his odious opponent in with a diamond which Mr Delano won with the ♦5.
With only diamonds left, Mr Delano had to play one proclaiming arrogantly that the “ruff-sluff won’t help that ****”. Gordon however discarded a heart from dummy and a club from his own hand. Then, when Mr Delano led another diamond, he was able to ruff in dummy and discard his last club so winning the remainder of the tricks and making his contract.
The entire bridge room let out a loud cheer at Gordon’s brilliancy which Mr Delano tried to deflect sneeringly “Obvious manouvre, unbeatable contract”. But Frieda, with a wide smile merely remarked innocently “Oh, didn’t you realise that you only had to underplay your ♦2 to avoid the throw-in?”. With a snarl, Mr and Mrs Delano departed mouthing threats of revenge.
The remainder of the honeymoon bridge cruise was happy and tranquil. They had a wonderful time and their bridge went very well. They had managed to avoid Mr and Mrs Delano Sr III most of the time and the rest of the ship’s company was very congenial. On the final night however they had to play the last hand against the Delanos with whom they were running neck and neck for first place on the ship’s bridge ladder.
| ♠J4 ♥73 ♦KQJT743 ♣A6 | ||
| ♠T95 ♥J982 ♦— ♣T98752 | ♠A876 ♥QT6 ♦A65 ♣K43 | |
| ♠KQ32 ♥AK54 ♦982 ♣QJ |
Mrs Delano (North) was the dealer. She bid 1♦ while fingering the ostentatious diamond ring she was wearing. In the Delanos’ system that meant a solid diamond suit. Gordon (East) passed awaiting developments. Mr Delano bid 1NT, an eccentric bid unless you knew that it was forcing. Mrs Delano saw no reason to alert her opponents to this aspect of their agreements and bid 2♦. Mr Delano bid 2NT, Mrs Delano 3♦, and Mr Delano 3NT (the ultimate “husband” bid).
Frieda decided to lead ♠T hoping to strike her partner’s suit. Mr Delano covered with dummy’s Jack and Gordon won the trick with his Ace. Already the critical point of the hand had been reached. Gordon realised from the bidding that all the outstanding cards were held by declarer.
After half a minute’s thought he returned the ♣K sacrificing his club trick. Mr Delano puffed up his shoulders now that he had no club loser and won with dummy’s Ace. He now started leading diamonds. However, Gordon held up his Ace until the third round and dummy’s magnificent diamond suit was dead as dust.
In due time Mr Delano was held to 8 tricks (2 spades, 2 hearts, 2 diamonds, 2 clubs) and was the only declarer to go down. Frieda was quietly appreciative, it not being seemly to publicly draw attention to Gordon’s brilliancy; especially as they would now win the event. The Delanos suffered from no such delicacies and departed muttering imprecations and threats about “bombing Noo Zealand”.
Bridge Romances 
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