Basingstoke

In Gilbert and Sullivan’s operetta “Ruddigore” there are two married characters Sir Despard and Mad Margaret. When Margaret gets dangerously excited her husband utters the poignant word “Basingstoke”; this sinister name teems with dark meaning to her and calms her down.

Voluptua’s partners were despairingly thinking that “Basingstoke” should be used to curb her own flights of fancy. The problem is that sometimes her wild experiments came off and these successes were what she remembered. Recently, playing as West with Gordon (East), who was a wooden paragon of good sense, the bidding was (EW vulnerable):

West	North	East	South
	1♣	Pass	1♥
4♠	Double	Pass	Pass
Pass

Voluptua’s 4♠ was an outrageous pre-emptive bid but did the job of keeping her opponents out of the cold 6♦. Since 6♦ would score 920 the defence had to take the sacrifice 4 off to score a compensating 1100. Best defence could have achieved this: small club to South’s King, diamond to the Ace, ♣A cashed, club ruff, heart to the King, and another club ruff, and then the ♠A. But serene in her confidence, Voluptua did not expect such a sharp defence.

	♠A5 ♥K6 ♦AK532 ♣A976
♠KQJT87 ♥Q ♦9 ♣QJ532		♠643 ♥T754 ♦J87 ♣T84
	♠92 ♥AJ9832 ♦QT642 ♣K

Indeed, the bridge gods smiled on her even as Gordon was imploringly muttering “Basingstoke” under his breath. The actual defence left much to be desired. North led ♥K, which South mistook for a singleton and therefore overtook with the Ace. South then led a low heart back (suit preference for a club return) expecting North to ruff it. However, Voluptua discarded her lone diamond and dummy’s ♥T won! She now played a deceptive ♠T that North ducked and another trump that North won with the Ace. At this point North panicked and led ♣A, dropping her partner’s singleton ♣K. So Voluptua made her contract as her hand was now high.

“You see, Gordon” she laughed afterwards, “you really are far too pessimistic. Enjoy life and have a little fun. It’s not hard, really”.

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