Minnie van Driver was adamant. “My eyes are as good as the day I was born” she declared. Sinclair Whitlands tactfully replied “Yes, yes, revered lady; I only wanted to suggest the possibility of making them even more acute than on that blessed day”. Sinclair always talked as though he was about to slay a dragon but his earnestness brought a flush to Minnie’s cheeks. There seemed no way to persuade her otherwise so Sinclair tactfully changed the subject.
That evening they settled down to play an ordinary pairs event at the club. Their first opponents were the rascally Weasel and Ferret who skilfully bid the North-South hands below to 7♥.
| ♠QJ65 ♥85 ♦84 ♣AJ953 | ||
| ♠AKT7 ♥J942 ♦T62 ♣84 | ♠98432 ♥— ♦9753 ♣QT72 | |
| ♠— ♥AKQT763 ♦AKQJ ♣K6 |
Minnie, West, led ♠A and was sorry to see the Ferret ruff it. However then she brightened considerably when she peered myopically at dummy as she could see that she had a sure trump trick. Unfortunately, her optimistic demeanour was noticed by the Ferret and a peek into the reflection in a nearby window confirmed his fears.
What the Ferret did next was not exactly unethical but you, reader, can be the judge. In rapid succession he led to the next three tricks as follows:
♥A, ♥K, ♦Q. Minnie followed twice in trumps but on the next trick she presumed that the Ferret was continuing to draw trumps and thought he had played ♥Q – so she “followed” with ♥9.
The director had to be called who ruled that Minnie’s ♥9 had to be replaced by a diamond, and that her ♥9 was a penalty card that had to be played at the earliest opportunity. So the Ferret played ♥T next. Minnie had to play ♥9 and her “sure” winner disappeared.
At the end of the evening, Minnie admitted sheepishly “Maybe you are right, Sinclair – I’ll make an appointment for an eye test”. Sinclair beamed. “Dear Lady – the bridge adventure will unfold for you with unerring accuracy once you are armed with an ocular weapon. Your foes will fear you, your prowess will be the talk of the realm, and I, your humble partner, will be the envy of bridge players the world over”. After such a declaration, what could Minnie say?
After a few days Minnie was diagnosed with acute myopia. No-one but her was surprised but, after a few days, she herself came to realise that the diagnosis might be accurate and that it was a relief that she no longer had to maintain the fiction of 20-20 vision.
When the glasses arrived she sustained further surprises in the first week that she wore them. Her house seemed much dustier than usual. On the other hand her garden definitely perked up that week with a large number of new flowers, especially small ones; and the birds in her garden seemed both more numerous and more brightly coloured.
Sitting down for her first hand of that evening’s bridge she was heartened to find that this time she seem to have been dealt a couple of Kings. So often her hands consisted of dreary Jacks – in fact in one recent game she recalled she had had a hand with 6 Jacks. Today however her first challenge was to make 6♥ as West on the lead of ♦A.
| ♠K64 ♥AKQT9874 ♦— ♣J2 | ♠A98753 ♥J5 ♦J8 ♣QT3 | |
Realising that she had been lucky to escape a club lead she was still uncertain what she should do. She had read widely that week – in particular, there had been that helpful article about finding the queen of trumps. What had it said? She reviewed it in her head point by point. But just a moment! She held the queen of trumps herself so that was one problem out of the way. Surely that silly author should have recommended that declarer first checks her own cards.
Now what else? Oh yes! Think before playing to the first trick. Well, she had done that when she was spotting the queen of trumps so that was another success.
Time to play to the first trick. Her partner Sinclair seemed to have set out the dummy cards suit by suit! Why couldn’t he have done that last week? That made following suit a breeze. But, oh bother! She couldn’t follow suit herself! What should she do?
The solution came to her in an instant – no more than 15 seconds thought – ruff it of course. Looking across the table she detected a twitch in Sinclair’s demeanour – naughty man, usually completely impassive, but he must surely be approving of the results of her diligent studies. The unexpected thought of mistletoe popped into her head.
Of course the fate of the contract depended on whether spades divided 2-2. They did and Minnie’s night was off to a flying start.
Bridge Romances 
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